my husband is so nice to everyone but me

Its something that took me a lot of time to get better and better at as well. You may have become old news or too available to them. You don't feel understood. He may have seemed like a decent and nice guy before you got married, but once those vows were said, his attitude towards you changed. It could be that you spoke rudely to him in the. The world seems to have turned upside down. Lastly, if you're worried about how you'll cope financially if/when you leave, it might be helpful to visit your local CAB or call the helpline to find out what benefits and other support you'll be entitled to. Completely different story. Maybe its not just a feeling, if you can clearly see hes more complimentary of everyone else then its going to make you feel unvalued. It might be that he is dealing with his own insecurities and lack of self-esteem and gets lifted up by attention from other people. These men bully and intimidate others to give them a grandiose sense of self-worth. His friends and family take advantage of that. 12. Being Controlled: My wife felt like she had no say in the relationship, so she felt helpless and powerless to make decisions. Damage to self-esteem. We barely talk. My Husband Is Mean To Me And Nice To Everyone Else (19 Reasons Without much ado, lets delve into some of the reasons your husband is mean to you and nice to everyone else. 1. The following are signs that youre under the abuse of a Mr. Hes most likely to have criminal records, drunk driving, and drug dealing- Bancroft. Probably a therapists needs to be involved so that you can have an objective third party mediator. Relationships where you have to tread lightlyeach day you wake up you are figuratively having to walk on eggshells because your partner or someone you know behaves or acts all too frequently . 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out! 4. He treats you poorly and says unkind things to you when you challenge him about it. 5. As the spouse of a narcissist, I need to be strong and educate . It was a little thing, but it allowed you to keep up to date with the important (and, yes, sometimes the not so important) goings on in each other's lives. 13) He's filled with insecurities. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. 10 Reasons to Explain His Behavior, 5. He wasnt my type, but he was charming and seemed like a nice guy. If he can empathize with others then as his wife you should definitely get some empathy from him. He Acts Better Than Everyone Else. Is there any chance you could go back to the NHS counsellor you saw before? Im not in any way implying that his frequent angry episodes are a good thing, plus, no one enjoys being at the receiving end of nasty or mean comments. He may have seemed like a decent and nice guy before you got married, but once those vows were said, his attitude towards you, 4. If you see me reorganizing my daughter-in-law's kitchen, or any other room in her house, for the love of all things holy, punch me. In reality, this is just 50% of bipolar disorder. Instead, reach out, expressing a desire to talk and broaching what the topic of the conversation concerns leaving it up to you. So I'll particularly pick on things that reflect on her driving or her confidence etc. Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. Communication Is Everything Speak with Your Husband About It! Either way, this tool can stop the guessing games going on in your head right now. There's both a blindness to their faults and a fear of being "disowned" (his words) by his parents. If you think this is why hes complimenting other people and not you, you need to have a serious talk with your husband and get him to open up. We've been together 12 years, married for 6. 2. So, if your needs and wants arent in line with what they believe they should be, the resentment soars. It might be that he genuinely doesnt know that complimenting other people and not you makes you feel bad. Here's how it feels when people tell you that your verbally abusive ex-boyfriend is a "nice guy." At first, it makes you doubt yourself, as if you could have made the whole thing up or that you must be overreacting. 3) He's Hurting. Long story short, I regretted it. He wants to show his dominance at every given opportunity hence causing him to be contemptible to you. Communication is a vital part of every relationship that must be applied generously. You're Always the Problem (i.e. As a wife, you should learn how to cope with your partner and manage his, 18. But inevitably, something happens and they recognize that you are in fact a flawed human like everyone else. No matter how badly they treat me, they are never in the wrong in his eyes, it's somehow my fault. 10. It might be that your husband loves and appreciates you but finds it difficult to express his feelings to you and easy to express his feelings to others. Not sure why you're getting downvoted. Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes? Sadness, loneliness, and anxiety. marked lack of empathy that narcissists display, Narcissists have a typical relationship cycle, books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel, trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching, SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups, coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com. Unfortunately, as Im sure youre aware it usually has the opposite effect and just creates distance between the two of you. We can help loved ones recognize and prevent these shifts before they damage our relationship. In fact, they are abusive and cruel as a way to punish you for no longer feeding their ego by expressing that you have wants and needs as well. Gaslight is a 1944 mystery movie starring Ingrid Bergman as a newlywed. Any criticism towards his family wounds him deeply. He is not the problem; I am. 10 Cleaning Rules for Roommates To Create A Spotless Home! In other words, your average person is capable of loving someone and still being angry with them at the same time. Before you got married, you paid extra attention to your looks, but all that changed when you get married. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online. Our loving, open, and warm goodness. This could be for any number of reasons he might think you dont want to hear it, he might not be good at expressing himself, or he might worry about how youll react. And people think he's so wonderful. My husband has both male and female friends who talk to him about relationships. Subscribe and get a special email series from Angie packed with free gifts to help you heal and evolve! Every time he would essentially say I'm overreacting, interpreting their actions incorrectly, or there would be some reason why I'm the one who is in the wrong. 14 signs your 'nice guy' is actually a massive creep - SheKnows Pay attention to the intent of his claims of abuses he suffered in the hands of his ex-partner. Enter your husbands details into the tool and it will begin to track his personal devices. presence of his friends or you provoked him unknowingly. Your partner may be an avid subscriber of such teachings and beliefs, and thats why he acts the way he does. Your Partner Gaslights You. Over the next couple of weeks, I got the love-bombing of my life. Or at least to ignore my own needs. Instead of discussing it with you, he chooses to play mind games, and treat you unfairly. It makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or not. or situations/content involving minors. When I try to vent I receive the equivalent of STFU. He wants to change but lacks the commitment to do so, Your partner talks so much about treating you better or doing better by you, but seldom, follow through. They're tired, so they want you to turn off . In any case, it isnt quite that simple. Answer (1 of 28): In being the devil's advocate, I fear I can see the "positive" side of your issue more than most. On the back of trying to make you feel jealous or flirting with other women, your husband might not be as invested in your relationship as you are or think he is. But they also get to see our shadow side. They vent their frustrations on their spouses by acting mean towards, them. If it comes from anyone else, their problems are completely valid and worth his time. Here are 6 signs I missed while he was cheating: 1. Roommate Doesnt Want My Boyfriend Coming Over? 7. When you dont focus your attention on his worries, he feels bad and might begin to start blaming you for his downfalls. There's a thin line between a pushover and a nice person. Why Is The Person I Love So Mean To Me: When Love Hurts photo by: Zach Vessels. Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you! He doesn't miss you when you're gone, and he's indifferent to your absence. 11 Warning Signs Of A Disrespectful Husband - Her Norm This, in healthier relationships, will Since youre already in the position of being a narcissistic supply, the narcissist feels comfortable with you. Acting all aggressive is a tactic used in trying to bend you to, This kind of marriage is not sustainable in the long-run and may. Outsiders don't have a glimpse at the abusers have a clever way of concealing what could lead on anyone to know their true color. He Says Mean Things in a Nice Way. Obviously, this would anger the narcissist and create resentment since they see you as an extension of themselves rather than a whole person. He might be complimenting other women as a way of making himself feel better and giving you subtle signs that hes willing to compliment other people and not you. In hindsight, I realize that I did this because I just wanted to please my mother, who was never happy with me anyway. If you continue your relationship with the narcissist: Seek therapy or outside support. If youre not happy with how your husband compliments everyone but you, you have to speak with him about it. Building a successful marriage requires plenty of effort, and hard work. But real talk: we are all the Karen. At some points when he starts mistreating you, others wont believe you when you cry out to them for help. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up - Bustle 25 Signs Your Husband Doesn't Love You Anymore. There could be a more innocuous reason for why your husband is always complimenting everyone else and thats because he wants to be liked by everyone. Are you wondering why hes acting this way? It could just be that it makes him feel good to get attention from other women and it's you he loves, but it's still inappropriate behavior that he shouldn't be doing. "Just be nicer and we'll be OK. That's . It takes two, people. First make it about how you are feeling. "Why Am I So Mean to My Partner?" - Harley Therapy Blog Building a successful marriage requires plenty of effort and hard work. You will begin to feel hes the best, not knowing hes another beast in human clothing. Whatever the reason, its something you need to talk about with him and try and find a way to help him feel more comfortable expressing his feelings towards you and complimenting you as much as everyone else! Everyone loved him when they met him at least until they got to know him. Hes allergic to whatever that isnt going to reflect toughness such as fragility, indecision, and weakness. My Husband Is Mean To Me And Nice To Everyone Else: My Husband Is So There is something sweet and generous about helping without being asked. If he paints the whole picture to make it all seem like hes a saint, be careful, chances are that hes an abuser (the Victim). Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to? But if the answer is no. then honestly you need to start making plans to exit this relationship. The people around you always seem to have in-jokes that you are not privy to, so you don't know what they're talking about. Mostly me. 17 Signs You're The Friend Nobody Likes | Thought Catalog 17. Im not in any way implying that his frequent angry episodes are a good thing, plus, no one enjoys being at the receiving end of nasty or mean comments. The best way to go about it is to be honest with him and explain how you feel when he compliments other people and not you. Other people pour their hearts out to him and he spends so much time texting them and acting like their therapist. Dear Annie: My husband is so rude to my children, waiters, cashiers Heres what you can do about it. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. by Carolyn Steber. His Ego Feeds on Compliments Coming Back at Him. This explains why your spouse yells at you at the slightest provocation, many women like you find themselves in this deplorable state owing to the bad orientations of their spouses. I know its harsh, but this is one of the most common reasons men treat their partners badly. It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along. Id advise that you explore why he resorts, A man, by nature, loves power and likes to be in control, this trait has led some to become, control addicts. But there is . So when theyre angry with youthey literally cannot love you. He's no longer interested in intimacy. Find a solution that works best for you and your kids (if you have any). If your husband is a water torturer he might be exhibiting these behaviors: Abusers in this category frustrates their partner but pretend like they have not been mean in any way towards their partner on the ground that their actions dont possess an iota of aggression in them. It is also possible that there may not be anyone else. And . The earlier you start dealing with his unfaithfulness, the better chances you have on salvaging the situation. This kind of marriage is not sustainable in the long-run and may eventually collapse. #3. oliviajuliette said: Hello everyone, My husband was diagnosed with alzheimers in 2014. They insist on things being done in their own way and make all of the most important decisions. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? In the opinion of Lundy Bancroft, a writer, there are a number of abusive husbands, from Mr. right, Rambo, to Mr. If properly motivated, your spouse could change his stripes and turn a new leaf. How can one person just walk away like it's nothing, while the other My husband is a "nice" man, and everybody loves him, but honestly he is not very nice to me. Taylor describes abusers as a sort of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde character. I am glad it didn't work out as my wife today is someone I could never even had dreamed of being with. Make sure your mate is ready for a discussion. Jan 25, 2013. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Answer (1 of 6): She has Borderline Personality Disorder and is a covert Narcissist who only abuses people who won't retaliate. Talk to him. In the opinion of Bancroft, be particularly careful with a man who claims to have been the victim of physical violence by a previous female partner. We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship. 79 Husband Quotes - Quote Ambition This is quite sad, but true; the way he treats you and yells at you may stem from his background and, If properly motivated, your spouse could change his stripes and turn a new, leaf. So, read on to find out other common reasons he might be mean to you and nice with everyone else. Why Are Narcissists Cruel To You And Kind To Everyone Else? Hard. I want him to look at me and say: because of you I didn't give up.". Have you noticed that your husband is treating you differently to everyone else, in a bad way? I actually remember asking him questions like: Why do you treat strangers better than you treat me? After realizing I was the person that everyone around me always came to for dating advice, I decided to merge this skill with my profession writing. exactly how and why narcissists can be so cruel to you and so kind to everyone else. When I first met my ex-husband, I actually tried to hook him up with a friend of mine. Everyone loved him when they met him - at least until they got to know him. And this is about the time they begin to actively devalue you. That's when the empathy became zero altogether. This is another way of giving your husband the benefit of the doubt if you want to think that hes not deliberately or knowingly trying to offend you. Husband Compliments Everyone But Me! (10 Reasons Why & What To Do) He wants to improve his behavior but due to a lack of commitment on his part, it doesnt materialize. This could probably be the reason why your husband is always so vexatious towards you for one reason or the other. People who dont know the narcissist well will see their nice and charming side because the narcissist cant trust that theyll feed their ego otherwise. Get him to love talking to you if you are uncomfortable with him talking to others. See video here. He probably goes around telling everyone about all of his "great" accomplishments. Required fields are marked *. Try talking to your man about it and encourage him to see a therapist. If you think your husband is trying to make you jealous, call him out on it and tell him youre not going to put up with his behavior. If I ask him to spend time with me, he always has other things to do. John sits and stares at the floor. Hes hoping that by making you feel left out, youll start paying more attention to him. But for me, he was cruel and plain-old mean. He was going to be so caring and all over you. Men who suffer from low testosterone can become irritable, angry, and depressed; they, to their wives and kids at the slightest opportunity. Receive weekly tips & tricks to improve your love life. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves.

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